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WAYS FOR AN INCUMBENT TO BE HELPFUL AT A
COFFEE HOUR
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1) People perceive a status difference even if you do not. Take the initiative to open conversations.
2) Go first to those who are new and to those who are standing alone.
3) Keep two or three light hearted ways of opening conversation: comments on the morning service, comments on the weather, comments on the food.
4) Do not try to deepen the conversation or ask potentially intrusive questions until you have rapport.
5) Steer away from potentially embarrassing questions such as "what work do you do?" It may be difficult if a person is unemployed, or unhappily retired. Why not try, "tell me about yourself?"
6) Keep your coffee cup nearly empty so that you have a way of escaping conversations that are too icy or too entrapping. "Excuse me I need to get some more coffee".
7) If people are mingling and getting to know each other do not keep interrupting important friendship and conversation with endless announcements.
8) Help people to meet each other if you know they have common interests.
9) Gain the help of six or seven other sensitive and welcoming people to mingle, meet others, and ensure that no one is left out. See the coffee hour as a precious time of being with your people and do not fritter away that time fussing with after service duties.
10) If someone tries to capture you into a heavy duty conversation, indicate that this is an important time for you to mingle with everyone and suggest you talk about that issue when it is less pressured.
Item XXXVIII
©2002 Ronald C. Ferris
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